6 Comments

A Small Gesture Makes a Big Difference

It was my one day off yesterday and like usual I chatted with Susan. At one point she asked me if I planned on writing any fiction-y stuff. I honestly wasn’t sure because it’d been a while since I’d done any writing and didn’t know where to start. Kind of like figuring out where to start if you haven’t exercised in a long time.

Well, we chatted a little more and she went on to tell me (which I’m paraphrasing) that I’ve got something unique to say and she’d hate to see it go to waste. A quick compliment within a normal conversation, but what a HUGE effect it had.

Susan’s one of the few who’s had the benefit (hopefully it’s a benefit) to hear a lot of my wacky ideas and numerous opinions on stuff. So when she tells me I’ve got something to say, it carries a lot of weight. There are a two reasons for this.

1. She doesn’t compliment just to say something nice and I appreciate that because I feel like I earned it. It’s the difference between winning first place or getting the blue ribbon for participating.

2. She’s not looking for anything in return. I think some people will do a nice thing and then taint it by expecting reciprocation. Don’t get me wrong, the volleying of nice gestures is awesome when it happens naturally, but if the motive is reciprocation, the whole thing is ruined.

Anyway, it put me in a real good mood all day and I thought I’d share.

Ever have something like that happen to you?

6 comments on “A Small Gesture Makes a Big Difference

  1. I think we’ve gotten to a really lousy place in our society where everybody keeps score–consciously or not. Susan and I were talking about that a while back, about how it’s frustrating to want to give a gift to someone just for the hell of it and then they wind up feeling bad because a) there wasn’t a “reason” behind it like Christmas or birthday or b) they didn’t know you’d made it to the gift giving stage in you friendship or whatever the heck. Which half ruins the fun of giving a just because gift in the first place.

    As to your writing, I’ve made the assumption that you have a crapton of plotting going on in your noggin as you juggle the day jobs and that you’d get back to actually writing it DOWN when you had a bit more time. Because that’s totally what I do when I get over busy. 😀

  2. Andrew, if you get a compliment from Susan, you know it’s genuine. That’s the kind of person she is. A true gift, whether it’s a material thing or a kind word, should be from the heart, never expecting anything in return. I agree with Kait…it’s a shame a gift can’t be just a gift these days.

  3. Hey, Andrew! I totally agree. I enjoy giving gifts to people with no thought of them having to give me something in return. I do it because I want that person to feel special. Either because it is their birthday or a holiday or just because. If it brightens their day that is return gift enough for me.

    And all those thoughts piling up in your head will one day make it onto paper (or on a computer) and be out there in book form with your name on it before you know it!

  4. @Kait- The score keeping does suck. It makes me really cherish the friends I’ve got who aren’t like that.

    And you are correct. The ideas are piling up.

    @LL- I think the best friendships are a mix of so many things along with nice gestures. The ingredients blend together and even if you can’t pinpoint everything in the final product, it’s tastes great.

    @Anya- Isn’t that the best? My wife used to buy me cards just because when we were dating and I loved it. Never once did I feel like I had to run out and get her one or some other kind of gift.

    Yep, one day I’ll have a book with my name on it. The ideas have to go somewhere!

  5. It sounds like you have a great friend in Susan. I’m happy for you and I’m thrilled that her support and honest words have put you in an excited place. Let the ideas flow….and the good moods continue! Surrounding ourselves with wonderful people is one of the most important aspects in life, in my opinion. They are our real friends….

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