Steam of consciousness, coming at ya!
I’m not sure how I get into these messes, but I have this cycle where I’m really, really motivated, followed by getting lots of stuff done. Then I reach this point where I’m overwhelmed and not sure what to do next. This leads to slipping back into bad habits and eventually not being productive.
It’s a weird kind of self-sabotage. I don’t mean to do it and I’m always so sure that “This will be the last time I ever do that again!”
Makes me feel like I’m headed down the path of Guy Who Only Talks About What He’s Going To Do. I do not want to be that guy.
And this goes far beyond writing. There’s all sorts of life things I want to do, but the up and down of progress is frustrating. It’s rather silly to think I’m stopping myself from doing the things I want and even more embarrassing to admit it.
I’ve read plenty of ways to be organized, but they’ll only take me so far unless I’m consistent.
I know I can do it.
I’ve had the same job for almost a decade and I do it very well. Is that my problem? I need a “boss” to tell me what I have to do? I’d like to think not. I’d like to think that if I just found a way to be more consistent with my goals, nothing could stop me.
So, what does that mean? Maybe I don’t want it bad enough? I think I do, but that lands me in the evil circle of “Well, if you did want it bad enough, surely you wouldn’t be writing this post.” Maybe there’s some truth to that, just don’t call me Shirley. Maybe I have a ways to go before I hit bottom. Maybe . . .
As you can see, there’s much confusion going on up here. Felt good to let it out, though. As I proofread this, it’s nice to see it on the screen and not in my head anymore.
But getting back to the point . . .
How do you guys do it? How do you stay on track when it seems like everything is working against you, yourself being the worst offender of all? Am I overthinking all this (again) and all I have to do is do it like the sneakers say?