Last Friday was a pretty cruddy day of writing in that I didn’t get any done. Had nothing to do with available time or goofing off on the internet. No, friends, I came down with a slight case of Fear of Failure. Here’s the weird thing; I wasn’t fearing failure from the release of my book. I’ve sort of set my expectations for what I think will happen and I’ll be tons more relieved once it’s out. I was afraid of what would happen when I sent this off to be critiqued.
You see, I have a lot of respect for these authors because of their high level of awesome AND talent. Plus they’re not in extreme wealth with the time, but like me enough to set aside a little of it to read my draft and help me make it better. I find this to be nothing short of amazing and I suppose this has hit me as I near the end of my revisions. I’ve still got some chapters to go, but I plan to be done sometime during round two of ROW80. Then it goes off to the awesome AND talented people.
In my head, somewhere around the irrational part of my thinking, I’m presenting my book to some seriously talented talent folk. What if . . . they don’t think it’s that good? Not, it’s got issues that need fixing to make it better. Flat out, not good. Like not on their level of awesome. I know, slightly insane. And even more embarrassing to admit. There is a reason I’m writing this, though.
It’s therapeutic to share this stuff with you guys. And I figure if anyone has or will one day go through this, maybe my little post will help. As of now, I’m feeling pretty good and have gotten some writing done. The horse and I are riding again!
So, that’s it. Just sharing my struggles and irrationalities. I know the way to be over this is to finish the book, get it critiqued and out there. Because whatever’s in my head is way worse than what will actually happen. It’s strange having these rational thoughts and having the complete opposite coming from the same brain.
And now the floor is yours! How has the cuckoo part of your brain tried to sabotage your dreams?
Info stuff- Round 2 of ROW80 starts April 4th and I’ll be posting my new goals on Saturday. And be here Tuesdays and Thursdays for new posts on me, writing, superheroes, monsters, comics and any other geeky stuff on my mind.